You know things have gone awry when BMW now offers three different flavors of non-cars, all of them antithetical to the Bavarian brand's classical claim to fame. The X6 is the latest addition to the range, joining the X3 and X5, and BMW is calling it a Sports Activity Coupe, creating an acronym that's oddly prescient for a vehicle that's essentially a post-bris X5. Beyond the looks that are an acquired taste, we wanted to know if there's BMW goodness baked into the X6, so we swiped the keys to an X6 XDrive 35i for a week with the SAC to find out.

Idle hands are the devil's playthings, and apparently AC Schnitzer has a lot of time on its hands. You're only required to read the first two lines of the company's press release to realize that the crew formerly known for creating rolling automotive masterworkz have officially donned their collective bouffants, made like the Fonz and jumped the shark. Here's proof: The BMW X6 Falcon.

Click above for high-res gallery of BMW X5 M and X6 M spy shots

Despite earlier assertions to the contrary, all indications are now that BMW is preparing its first batch of M-tuned sport-utilities, including an X5 M and X6 M. Advanced-stage test mules for both have now been spied by a keen photographer right here in the United States, at BMW's Performance Center test track in Spartanburg, South Carolina.

Click above for high-res gallery of the AC Schnitzer BMW X6

BMW has its own grammar rules. For instance, M and X cannot appear in the same car name. So while a BMW sport-ute/crossover (or whatever they want to call it) can for all intents and purposes be an M vehicle - that is, top-of-the-line sport model with all the go-fast components and power to spare - it can never wear the vaunted M badge. That is, for the most part, just semantics. BMW's solution for the 'Ring-running versions of its taller vehicles is to slap an S on there instead.

Opinions about the BMW X6 are split around the Autoblog virtual water cooler and this teaser from Lumma Design hasn't helped. The German tuning haus will be unveiling a production model of its CLR X 650 at the Paris Motor Show later this year, and much like the standard X6, you'll either love it or loathe it.

What isn't up for debate is the CLR X 650's aggressive demeanor. If the nuclear mishap hue isn't enough to catch your attention, then the new fascia equipped with super-sized air dams, the side skirts, rear fender vents and revised mirrors will keep your wandering eyes in check. The whole package is slammed by 40mm over a set of 23-inch bespoke black rolling stock, while the interior is expected to get a color-matched instrument panel, aluminum pedals and a new steering wheel.

Click above for high-res gallery of the BMW X6 in the wet

Click above for high-res gallery of the 2009 BMW X6